“The easiest person to deceive is one’s own self.”
– Edward Bulwer-Lytton"Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain."
– The Wizard of Oz
We’re versatile. We’re complex. And sometimes we do things that leave us looking back and shaking our heads wondering, "What was I thinking?"
Each of us has a cast of "Inner Characters" – aspects of our personalities that seem to step in and take over from time to time. Sometimes subtle, other times like a bull in a china shop, Inner Characters can help you through the day or they can trip you up. Of course, these are not real characters in a clinical sense. The term "Inner Character" is merely a lighthearted way of describing styles of behaving that sometimes get in our own way. The book Secrets You Keep From Yourself describes several Inner Characters. Here are a few:
- Moviemaker: Entertains you with Hollywood-style fantasies
- Indulger: Distracts you with escapist activities
- Persuader: Explains away uncertainty or rationalize aims and behavior
- Mini-Me: Seeks safety by becoming inconspicuous
- Capt. Superior: Seeks validation through perfectionism or putting others down
- Escape Artist: Avoids demands by procrastinating, spacing out, or giving up
- King Kong: Sidesteps your conscience and gives in to impulses
How to Spot Each Character in Action
| Character |
EXAMPLE #1 |
EXAMPLE #2 You want someone to do something for you but you're afraid to ask. So you do something like: |
PATRON SAINT |
| MOVIEMAKER | Fantasize about different ways you could say no | Mentally rehearse asking to the tune of imaginary background music | Walter Mitty |
| INDULGER | Take the rest of the day off | Go for ice cream | Bacchus |
| PERSUADER | Agree even though you can’t possibly do it | Assure yourself that they'll realize what you want without your having to ask | P.T. Barnum |
| MINI-ME | Tell them that you’re feeling too tired to do anything | Avoid them | Henny Penny |
| CAPT. SUPERIOR | Tell them how it should be done | Begin by telling them that they owe you a favor | Dr. Laura Schlessinger |
| ESCAPE ARTIST | Agree, then forget about it | Tell yourself that they’d probably say no, so why bother asking | Harry Houdini |
| KING KONG | Bite their head off | Contemplate the threats you’ll use if they say no | King Kong |
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From
Secrets You Keep From Yourself published by
St. Martin's
Press |
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This chart can help you spot when Inner Characters are present in yourself or others Instructions: Think of a specific situation that troubles or puzzles you.. Go down each column and note any applicable behaviors and feelings. Rows with the most number of items noted may indicate that Character was present. More than one Inner Character can be present at the same time. |
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| You’re OVERDOING one or more of the following behaviors: | You want to avoid feeling: | You want to feel: | Your Inner Character |
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Moviemaker |
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Indulger |
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Persuader |
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Mini-Me |
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Capt. Superior |
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Escape Artist |
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King Kong |
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From
Secrets You Keep From Yourself published by
St. Martin's
Press |
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Assess Your Self-Defeating Habits